Not Your Average Mommy Blogger

19, Married, Son...The rest are just small details right now.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I have a confession to make.

I ignore homeless people. I go out of my way to avoid them, I'll walk a different block so I don't see them, and sometimes I pretend I'm on my cell phone just so they won't ask me for money. I'm not a very nice person.

It's not that I think I'm better than anybody else. Well, for the most part. There's one girl that walks the streets in the town that I work, going up to people and telling them her story about how she's homeless and pregnant, and just wants to get something to eat. I gave her a dollar once. And then one day, I saw a woman offer to take her to a place for pregnant women where she would be taken care of even after the baby is born. And the homeless girl refused. Since that day I want to punch her in the face every time I see her. Isn't that awful?

I put myself in this girl's position. If I fell on a lot of bad luck and ended up with no place to go, I'd find a way to take care of my baby. I would most likely give him up for adoption. But I feel like as long as the baby is with me, it's my job to take care of him. And nothing pisses me off more than a negligent/abusive parent. I am better than that.

Anger is my way of coping with a lot of things, and truthfully, I would rather see a homeless person as just an awful, hurtful person. Some people say that my attitude is what's wrong with society, and maybe they're right. It's easier to deal with something negative if you believe it's evil. Takes the emotion out of things. I would rather be disgusted by a person than feel bad for them, and I'm not sure why, other than the fact that it's simply easier.

Somewhere in myself I have a complex where I want to save the world. It manifests itself in various ways, and I've been trying to suppress it for years. So for now, I just pretend that I don't see, pick up my cell phone, and think about the person I ignored in the back of my mind for the rest of the day.


At 10:33 AM, Blogger The Newsbitch said...

Hehe, don't worry - your attitude is perfectly fine. I feel exactly the same way.

I'm not sure of where you are from, but here in the UK we have grants and financial support for those without homes and jobs, and also grants for pregnant women. In fact, over here women with children get priority for council houses, so there's no excuse to hang around on the streets begging. Yet still, they do, and it pisses me off. (Yeah, I have a 'bad attitude' too).

And besides, asking for money on the streets is dangerous - what are these women thinking?

Ignore my ranting! Hehe. I found your link over at Bitchet and like your blog.

At 1:41 PM, Blogger angie said...

i'm glad you like it here! i'm in maryland, in the good old u s of a. there are benefits for pregnant women, not as many as you have, but there are a few, and it irks me when people don't use them.


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